iMight go crazy at this rate.

Got my intern tmr at 7:30am and i can't sleep. The reason being? The dream.

Fuck it or not, i dreamt of her. Again.

Last night, and it was vivid as real life. Woke up, and then i wuz ok. Not until moments ago when i wuz trying to fall asleep.

I think this happens everytime i'm back here in my ori room and trying to fall asleep, during that same old hour of midnight (or dawn). This is fucked.

Might be caused by SoBG. No i think it's more like the room. This room is where most of it happened lol. I guess. Damn all these are really getting to me.

This year i swear i ain't coming back again for the summers lol. It's bad for my health that i still can't let go and i know it but i can't help it. This whole thing is fucked, serious.

Man yeah i just hope i can complete SoBG before i go insane for real (lol) but nah..not that likely eh? Lol this is stupid. This whole thing is.

Well at least i've got this diary of mine to dump shit in when shit happens. Not like it's private but i sometimes am thankful that there ain't many readers lol. Bah whatever i don't even have much fucks to give for that seeing as how i'm under shit circumstances as of now.

Well i'm off to bed, hopefully i can in less than 2 hours or so. I hope i don't dream of her again. No wait maybe i do. Fuck yeah i do. The saying goes: "enjoy first, regret later". Yeah whatever i'm off i swear one of these days, this whole yes no yes no thing is gonna drive me nuts. Chao.

P/s: already did.

The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - Chapter 8

okay so here's chap 8 of SoBG, story pickin' up just rite rite there if i have to say lol. really liking the flow and pace of the story at this point, so i'll definitely finish this story that i started hehee. stay tuned to those who still are tuned, here is chap 8 of SoBG, enjoy~

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The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - chapter 8

It was 10am. The boy was lying on his new bed in his new bedroom. His eyes were greeted by the first sunray of that Saturday morning - that usual annoying ray of hot light which he hated so much.

But somehow, today, he did not hate it.

The handphone was lying a slight distance in front of where his head laid. And seeing it made him remember why he was feeling so euphoric at this hour of the day. Last night, he was sure he'd seen a really good dream.

Last night, the thing that he had craved for all his life had finally came true. And the best part was, it all came as a surprise, an unplanned and unexpected turnout, making him unable to take in what had happened on the spot.

Last night, he remembered that he was talking on the phone with his...with the girl, and then something wonderful happened. And after it - whatever it was - happened, all he could remember was this feeling of serenity throughout the rest of the call. He couldn't remember clearly of what happened after that, but could remember going to bed closing 2am while still texting the girl under the blanket, until she finally fell asleep.

And then the next thing was the pleasant sunray which reached his eyes this morning. And all these made him wonder -

Was it all just a moment of heat for the girl?

How did the girl feel now, after she'd went to bed for a whole night and had the time to think about what she said last night, alone, in her bed?

Would she, by chance, feel like withdrawing her words at this point, now that the sun is up and shining?

No wait, but like...it was all real as steel right? Like, the fact that she was now his girlfriend?

He found himself thinking of stupid stuff like those. Thinking of whether the girl was only doing all these out of guilt or like...wanting to give him a chance after all his effort, out of kindness or what-nots. He was thinking of things one would not think of, were the same thing to happen to them.

So, he decided he had to call up on the girl to perhaps, "confirm" whatever he heard only last night. Weird.

The girl laughed at the boy when he stuttered the questions he had to the girl. She told the boy that he was being silly for having such doubts about what had just happened last night. She assured the boy that he had indeed heard her right, that she had wanted to be with the boy, toegether as a couple, and that she loved the boy too. She also apologised for making the boy go through so much on his own, and after so long, to finally get to this point, in acknowledging her mutual feelings for the boy.

Hearing those words once again, especially the part where she said that she loved him too, brought chills to the boy's heart. His heart tingled in a most elating feeling he'd ever felt, much more intense than any of his previous happy moments in his life. He missed the girl so much, at that very instant, and had such a strong urge of holding her firmly to his chest right then.

But they were miles apart, and that all would have to wait.

And after that, the days were only filled with happiness.

Every morning, the boy would wake up happy, as the thought that he had a special someone who loves him at the other side of the line came into mind. He'd send her a sweet good morning, and receive one just as sweet in moments, and then go wash up and get ready for college, while getting more caramel-sweet texts all the way to school, until class started. The days now felt wonderful, and for the first time in his life, thought that he had finally felt truly thankful to be alive, and to have a real meaning to this one life he was given on this Earth.

The days went by with this overflowing happiness flooding the area. Well at least the area surrounding the boy. Everyday was heart throbbing and exciting for the boy. And everyday, he had the girl on his mind, as usual - and what he would do when he finally got to meet her again in person.

And so, two weeks after the wonderful night, the boy found himself travelling on a bus, on his four hours journey back to his hometown.

It was on the weekends, with only 2 days of holiday for the boy to leave the city. But he didn't care. All he knew was that that was his best chance to get his ass back to where his beloved girlfriend was, and spend time by her side, for as long as it was permitted.

All he knew was that he must see the girl again - must hold her firmly to his heart's content, tell her he missed her to his heart's content, and tell her he loved her so much till his voice gave up.

It was clear that the boy was madly, passionately, burning in the blazes of love. He could hardly sleep through the four hours worth of bus riding - at which he usually would the moment the bus started moving, as his heart was beating furiously at the thought of seeing her after oh so long.

And then.

Evening came. The boy had arrived at his house hours ago, and had settled down and gotten ready for the date - they were to meet at the beach in the evening, and whatever came next was entirely up to them to decide later on. There wasn't a real need for the boy to plan up on the date beforehand, this time, as the both of them merely wanted to see each other and be by one another's side. Anything they did was fine, as long as they were together, by each other's side.

And now, the boy was behind the steering wheel of his father's car. He was on his way to the beach - the girl had mentioned that her dad would fetch her there, and that she'd call once she arrived.

The boy reached the destination about 30 minutes before the date. And the reason of being? Not because of the ironclad rule that "guys must not be late for dates" - but simply because his heart had wanted to see the girl, so badly, as early as it was allowed.

And naturally, the girl had not arrived yet. The boy found an empty seat on the sandy shore to settle down on, while waiting for the girl.

At this point, the nerves had finally started to show signs of catching up with his head. He could feel the usual nauseous feeling in his head, the usual tingling at the tips of his fingers, whenever he was nervous.

Trying to calm himself, he took out his headsets and plugged them into his handphone. As he turned the music on, he could hear the sounds of the waves leak into his earpiece, creating a pleasant mixture along with the rhythm of the songs he was playing.

It was indeed a soothing feeling - listening to the music mixed with the sound of the waves, and feeling the sea breeze caress his hair, while waiting for his beloved girlfriend to arrive.

And then the phone vibrated. He could hear the melody of his ringtone through the earpiece. The girl had just arrived, and was asking him where he was.

And for a split moment there, he panicked and got up all flustered, as he looked around while holding the phone on his right hand, and telling her where he was through the mic - all these done while trying to get a visual of the girl amidst the people walking by.

And then he saw her. The brightly lit figure showing herself so clearly amidst the crowd. It wasn't much of a big crowd, but still..

She was wearing a pair of casual jeans, a white t-shirt, and a pair of sneakers. At the sight of the boy, she waved lightly - and abit shyly.

And she looked oh so beautiful in the boy's eyes.

At that very moment that his eyes fell on the girl, everyone around her seemed to blur out. All he could see, at that very moment, as he walked towards the girl, was her, her white tee, her blue jeans, and those sneakers he'd seen her wear more than once during their past dates.

She took up the whole of his field of vision, just as how she took up the whole of his heart.

And then, before he knew it, they were sitting on the bench that he'd been on before the girl arrived. Both of them were as stiff as steel, and it almost felt as if they were back at their first date.

The boy was sitting on the left side of the bence, while looking to the left - clearly NOT at the girl. And the girl, was looking down at her feet, occasionally looking up straight to the sea. Nerves. The air around them was heavy.

How did this even happen! Was what the boy had in his mind during that short period of greeting and exchanging news without eye contact. He was there, sitting right beside the girl that he loved so much - who turns out to be his girlfriend, at such a close range, yet he didn't even dare look into her eyes, let alone look at her.

The situation was dire. It was as bad as it could go. You could practically call it another failed date, and they might as well just break the fuck up and never see each other fuckin' ever again. LOL!

Hell no. This is NOT happening. I've made it this far, just to come to this and WHAT? That's all?

Hell no.

And pause. The boy stopped thinking for a while. And then, without looking right, he moved his hand onto the spot where he thought the girl's hand was.

And then he felt the back of her hand. It was soft - the skin on the back of her hand. He could feel the nail of her pinky, as he slid his hand towards the underneath of her hand - towards the face of her palm.

And then he felt something even softer. Soft and warm, smooth skin and texture, on the face of her palm. As he curled his hand slightly to grip her hand, he felt a surging warmth spreading from his hand towards his heart, and the rest of his body.

Did the girl's hand actually feel this soft the first time he held it, during the time when he handed the bag of info to her in front of her house?

But his thoughts were cut off, when he felt the girl's hand move. He felt it curl the same way his hand did just moments ago, gripping firmly on his fingers, holding his hand closer to herself. Surprised by this, he blank-mindedly turned towards the girl.

And there she was, looking straight into his eyes, as if telling him that she was right there beside him, telling him that everything was just fine. In her deep black pupils, he thought he could see the vague outline of his own reflection, and at that instant he felt all his nervousness evapourate into thin air.

What was there to be nervous of? He had the girl with him just beside him, and her hand was holding firmly on his, as if telling him that she'd never let go of them, and everything was going just the way he wanted it to. Just fine. Everything was just fine.

And at this thought, all doubts vanished from his mind. Without much of another thought, he slid his right arm towards her waist and pulled her closer into his embrace. He held her now vacant left hand in his left, and moved closer towards her, as she too moved closer into his arms and placed her head on his chest. They stayed like this for a long time, talking to each other in tones not more than whispers, before finally leaving the spot for dinner, hand in hand. They ate a simple and quick meal at MackDee's, before going off for a stroll on the sandy beach in each other's embrace, while enjoying the night scenery and cool breeze of the sea.

For how long they sat on the beach after that, they didn't know. All they knew was that before long, it was time for them to go home. Without even realising it, night had fallen for quite a long while, and the time has finally come for them to return home.

On the journey to the girl's place, the boy held the girl's hand with his left while driving with the other, as if not wanting to leave her just yet. He wanted to stay with the girl for much longer, and dreaded the moment when they finally reach the front of her house. All through the journey, he could feel the girl fondling his hand, as if to comfort him on the seperation to come.

And then they reached her house.

It was almost the same as the last time. He stopped the car, and then silence fell. Only this time, they had their hands held. It seems that neither wanted to make the move of releasing it.

But what must be done, must be done. The girl felt the boy let go of his grip, slowly, and so she too, followed suit and slowly released her grip. She looked up at the boy, and then with heavy hearts on both sides, they sank into a pationate hug, as if to squeeze the misery out of each other. She held tightly on the boy's back, felt the great width and warmth of the chest of the boy she had fallen for over the past year. She held on tightly, with her eyes closed, not wanting to open them as if afraid that doing so might end the hug. She didn't want to be released from that hug, and so she let her senses lose in it.

And then she felt his arm loosening. Slowly but reluctantly, she, too loosened her arms.

Their heads went backwards, and now faced each other in point-blank range. He was looking directly at her, and she at him. He could make out a clear silhoutte of his own in her eyes, and she in his. And then -

"Can i kiss your lips?"

The girl heard his barely audible whispers. She blushed furiously, though she was sure he couldn't see it. She shook her head quickly, with heat emitting rapidly from her flushed cheeks. Her breath was faster than it was before, and so was her heartbeat. And then she felt his warm palm touch her left cheek.

"Look into my eyes."

And then he looked straight into her eyes, as he moved his face closer towards hers, his lips towards hers, while his eyes slowly started closing up. And then, lost in the passionate moment, she, too, closed her eyes slowly, and moved towards his lips.

And then he felt her soft lips on his. It was soft, warm and a bit wet. His tongue reached into her lips, and its tip felt the texture if her teeth, and then her tongue. Everything felt soft and warm, felt so comfortable and soothing, as both of them lost themselves in the lip-lock.

They kissed passionately for some time - it wasn't brief, but it wasn't terribly long as well. And then they stopped. And then - again, this time longer and more passionate, and then again. It was only on the third time, that the boy noticed midway through that the girl's neighbour had came out to dispose of rubbish - and so he lightly pulled himself away from the girl, with a heavy heart.

After they bade goodbye for the tenth time, the girl exited the car and walked into her house, while waving a few more times at the boy. The boy stayed until she entered the house after waving one more time, before wiping his lips and hitting the road.

As he drove back alone in the night, he wiped is lips one more time with his now vacant left hand, while his heart beat crazily fast at the events that took place only minutes ago in that very car he was driving.

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Next chapter: Chapter 9 (Coming Soon)

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and so chap 8 comes to an end, quite some hot stuff over there eh? lol well anyway i'll have to stress this again: THIS AIN'T A TRUE HAPPENING, IT'S JUST A STORY THAT I CAME UP WITH BASED ON SOME REAL LIFE HAPPENINGS (that's why it sounds so real eh?) well yeah and of course most of my imaginations too whoooohahaha. anyway hope u enjoyed it, thank you for reading, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 TO Y'ALL OUT THERE.

hopefully i'll get to complete this story before the world ends eh? thank you and have a nice day + year ahead. bai bai.

MERRY KURISUMASU! And a happy new year.

Had a blast with ma friends and cousins during the long christmas weekend. Hope i can do this more often in the future and all but...yeah, we'll see.

Anyway, down to the point. Wishing all them ppl out thr no matter whr u are, a merry christmas and hopefully a happy new year. It's 2012 afterall, gotta treat it like the last eh? Lol kidding hopefully not.

Anyway so yeah, enjoy while we can, that's my motto i guess, so i'll be doing that, been doing it for quite sometime tho.

Once again. Happy christmas and a merry new year. Terbalik. Watever. SoBG will continue next week for those it may concern ha! Chaozers.

The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - Chapter 7

Ok so I found some time today to upload this chapter, wrote it in my ipad couple of days ago but i formatted it before backing up, forgot about it so lol. but anyway here's the stuff and...yeah enjoy.

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The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - chapter 7

It was a fine day out. The skies were clear and bright, but the air wasn't heavy and hot as it usually was. It was indeed a pleasant day out.

A week had passed since the last encounter between the boy and the girl. It had been a week since the boy left for the big city to pursue his further studies. It had been a whole week since the boy had decided to walk away from the girl - to let go of his feelings for her.

The girl, currently still enjoying her long holidays - as her higher education has yet to commence - could be seen lazing around the house killing time by watching the tv, surfing the net, or occasionally reading up on magazines lying on shelves in her study room. With nothing much to do but loiter around the house, this was what a student on holiday would usually do - well maybe an occasional hangout with friends, but not all the time.

What was different from usual was that the phone seemed to be a lot less active than usual. A lot.

Usually, her handset would be vibrating every so often that it would sometimes annoy her sister who was at home as well. She would then pick the phone up, read through it, and most probably laugh herself silly at whatever was on the hand phone screen.

But not for today.

Apparently, the boy had been busy since he arrived at his uncle's place in the city - at which he had been arranged for accommodation during his college life. Busy or not, that was what the boy had claimed through his few text messages sent when he first arrived in the city. Who knows, he might have been playing some mind games with the girl, but that would remain a mystery as there simply was no way to tell.

And now that he boy had stopped his usual text message spamming with the girl, it somehow felt weird - out of place, for the girl. Like something was not right - like something was missing from her everyday life. It wasn't something really big to cause distraught in her daily life, but it was just a small something lacking in her everyday slacking life. Something small, yet noticable.

Regardless, life goes on for the girl. And, for the boy as well, of course.

As mentioned earlier on, it was a fine day out.

On this very fine Friday afternoon, the boy could be found mending the bed in his new room, with tools he dug out from his uncle's store room. Fixing the bed 'coz it was creaking wasn't really a big feat, but it was enough to distract the flooding thoughts in the boy's mind. What about? The girl, naturally.

Since he'd left his hometown - resolved on leaving his feelings behind and all, he had missed the girl so very badly, to the point of keeping him awake for a few nights since his arrival in the concrete jungle. It was a new place, a new home, a new bed, and most of all, a new city to live in, and amidst his capability to adapt, he'd find it hard to settle down in this new circle of life, where he had to discipline himself to no longer think of the girl anymore.

Why'd he go through such ordeal? 'Coz he'd decided that this was the path to take.

Since he turned his back on the girl - the night in front of her house gate - he'd decided that the more he hung on to such pointless feelings, the deeper he'd fall into the hurtful quicksand, which will eventually drag him down to his doom. He'd suffered quite a lot from internal struggling and dwelling with these feelings, and he thought it was best to finally put a stop on all those unnecessary pain.

And that, was what he'd decided - though deep inside, he found that he was only missing the girl more and more.

At times, he'd think back on the times they spent texting the shit outta nothing of import at all, cracking casual and sometimes even lame jokes with each other, talking through the phone, hearing her soothing voice chime through the ear piece, and most of all, going on dates that ended up as failures, but nevertheless enjoying her company. Those times were only recently passed, and they didn't feel remotely faraway.

How did they even end up in such a dire situation? He'd wonder when they stopped messaging each other that often, ONLY to realise that it was all done by him - he had done them all by himself, and now he lamented on what he had done.

It was a terrible week for the boy, having to miss the girl so much and restraining himself from reaching out for her, but that one week passed regardless. Now, only three days remained before the start of college.

The start of college. It marks the start of something very new for the boy. It marks the start of his college life, where much freedom is to be tasted, and much changes would be made on the entire educational system. It was the pinnacle of one's life, a stage in life where one would most likely experience many new things for the first time of their lifes, and most probably be exposed to much more of the world that they lived in.

The start of college marks the dawn of a new life for the boy. A life with new friends, a new environment, and - a life without the girl.

Or at least, that was what the boy had thought of in his sad, sad heart.

So many times had he found himself in this string of thoughts. Thoughts about his decision, his choice, his resolve in letting go of the girl. So many times had he convinced his heart to not waver any longer, and to go on with this decision that his brains had finalised.

So many times had he lamented over the outcome of this whole thing.

And tonight, he thought, was the time to make it clear to the girl of his intents - to set it straight to her that he would stop chasing after her, and maybe apologise for any awkward feelings caused. It was all set in his mind. Firmly.

And so -

He made a call to the girl. The first phone call to her in a whole week's time. It was shortly after the girl's dinner, and he had expected that the girl would now be watching the tv after a satisfying dinner. And so right he was.

After moments of dial tones heard through the ear piece, the call was picked up and the girl's voice could be heard amidst some background noises which closely resembled the television. The boy could make out the sound of a familiar advertisement on tv, before registering the fact that this was the first time in a week that he'd heard her sweet voice.

The girl was slightly surprised at the call. He could tell through her higher than usual pitch. Also, he could make out a clear amount of happiness in her voice, probably from this sudden phone call made by the boy. But none of those mattered, onward to the main point, thought the boy.

He started off with a few usual greetings, asking about how the girl had been during the past few days, while trying hard to surpress the rising elation in his heart from hearing the girl's cheerful voice. It was overwhelming, hearing the voice that he had yearned for over the week, and after one whole week of not getting any at that! It was painful, as well. Hearing her voice so fondly, knowing that this could very well be the last time that he heard it for a long time to come.

The conversation dragged on. The girl was seemingly more talkative than usual, telling the boy about things that had happened through the last week, and asking about how things were for the boy at his end - asking if he could adapt to the new environment. All were answered vaguely by the boy, as he tried hard to find an opening to his intentions tonight, only failing to pull it off when the openings came. Why? Because he too, was enjoying himself with this conversation with the girl - he too was enjoying the girl's company, and somehow wanted things to stay the way they were.

But his resolve came into play.

While listening to the girl talking about some small happenings on her side, the boy thought of what would happen if he ended this conversation later tonight withOUT stating clearly of his intentions - he would be happy that they had such a wonderful conversation in a week, and after that, fall asleep thinking about the girl and wondering what he should do with the way their relationship was. He'd go back to agonising on wanting so much to get closer to the girl, but knowing that he couldn't do what his heart desired. He would suffer like he always did, missing the girl dearly, but not being able to reach out and hold her - or tell her that he misses her - and finally hurting himself even more.

And that was it. It's done. There was nothing left but to -

And then he fell silent. He let the girl finish saying what she had to say, waited for the silence that would ensue right after the girl stopped, and waited for the girl to ask for the boy. It wasn't like he actually "waited" for all those to happen. It's more like, he prepared himself for the moment the girl would stop and ask for him once silence took over.

And then, he spoke -

" Ok..uh..I've got something that I reeeally need to tell you tonight...like..I've been wanting to tell you for quite some time..just that I never had the...well yeah. I've made up my mind, I guess, so here's it.."

And then, a short pause.

"So....yeah. I guess you should know now that I uh...love you, lol yeah well you don't have to believe me, but that's the case for me..but yeah, so you know that already, and yeah I know you kinda like me too, but you just...you're not yet ready for whatever...you know, those boyfriend girlfriend stuff, yeah i understand..i do, i mean..

as the boy frowned and put his hands over his eyes, squeezing the space between his eye brows -

Yeah i understand AND respect your feelings, your decision of...rejecting me, i respect it all, so I thought that..maybe i should, you know, since i'm starting a new college life and all i should - "

And then the girl interrupted.

"wait, you don't have to see it this way..i mean...umm..i'm okay knowing that you umm well..love me, it's fine with me, and i said before that i believe you and all, i know it but umm..i don't feel awkward when i'm with you..uhh..like when we're texting, i'm fine with it, i'm okay with continuing like this, and i don't find you disturbing at ALL trust me, not like what you think, mmm....you understand, right? It's all good for me, so you don't have to think that you're like...disturbing me or making me feel bad or anything by...texting me..."

And then she trailed off into silence. It lasted for a short moment. And then the boy spoke again.

"yeah well..i'm thankful that you don't think of me like an annoying stalker or whatsoever, like some would think of those who confessed to them but got rejected ...but see..that's not the point. I mean,......it's more like...i'm really..a bit tired of the current situation. Yeah well you may be okay with this whole thing but...everytime we text, talk through the phone and stuff..i feel like...i'm friggin' holding back over here you know? Yeah sometimes i might just burst out with a random "i miss you so much" or stuff but..i wanna like..i wanna be able to say what i feel, to do what i feel all the time when i'm with you. I wanna tell you how much i love and miss you every second but...i just cant coz we aint nothing but..friends rite now, see? And that really hurts you know, like..wanting SO much to tell out all that i'm feeling but not being ABLE to..coz of...yeah. I mean...i'm tired of hanging on this thread, always wavering here and there, not actually breaking in two, but always looking like it's gonna break...like a piece of meat that you take out from the freezer, not to cook, but just to place on the table, like...hovering in between hot and cold...i just...i'm tired of the feeling of hanging in the middle. Yeah...that's right."

And a firm full stop. And then, silence once again.

Nobody spoke for some time. The boy waited patiently, and painfully, as the girl tried to absorb what he had said in the past few minutes. Two hearts were beating, throbbing, fast in two different bodies so far from one another, and althought not completely in sync, both were bearing a certain amount of pain and dread.

And then, the boy broke the silence once again, after deciding that the girl had taken in all that he said, and was only in silence as she didn't know what to say, or how to say what she wanted to.

"okay...so...yeah. It's come to this. So like...i really enjoyed the times that i spent with you, more than one year it had been i guess? Yeah somewhere around that. Like..i dunno what to say..i really..yeah i love you, that's already a fact, but...i dunno if you feel the same for me, though sometimes i feel that you actually like me too lol, forgive me if i'm being conceited but...yeah that's just what i feel. Or hope to feel. Anyway. Yeah..i mean like...i just cant keep this up. It's been too tiring for me, being all hung up in the middle of nowhere, and never knowing which direction to take and stuff. Nah...i don't blame you at all, don't you ever think it that way...i understand that the...maybe the timing is not right...and all..maybe distance as well..so like...yeah...as of three days from now, i'll be going to a new school and getting to know new people, and hopefully starting a new life. So...yeah i guess you and i...we just - "

And then, for the second time in one night, the girl interrupted the boy again.

"no wait...ummm...no...see i...i'm sorry if i ever made you feel that way but...i...i dunno what i want and umm...i dunno what will happen if..i mean....yeah i feel good when i'm with you too and...i think i might start to feel okay around you...like the other day, when we were at starbugz...and my friend saw us together...i dunno...i felt okay with the whole thing..i mean uhhmmm...yeah maybe i DO like you, like you said before...it's just that - "

And for the first time ever, in so many conversations they've had till now, the boy cut right through the girl, in a firm, drawling, and almost exasperated tone.

"Well then if you like me and all, why don't you just COME ON over here and BE my girlfriend already?"

The boy rolled his eyes while holding his phone on the left side of his ear. His right hand was tuck on his waist - and he wore a sort of exasperated smile on his face.

Maybe it was his drawling voice. Or maybe the full blast dosage of confidence/cockiness in his voice, like he didn't give a rat's ass on what would happen next, but only cared of what would become of him and the girl.

Maybe it was the way he had ushered the dominating suggestive statement over to the girl, that the girl finally felt something different than what she had felt before this.

The sense of security, like nothing would go wrong even if she let her heart decide, and go with whatever she had kept hidden within her heart for soooo long.

Or maybe she too, was influenced by the "couldn't-be-bothered-ness" in the boy's tone, that she -

"mmm..."

"what?" (though he already had a clear idea on what was coming next)

"mmm...I wanna be your girlfriend."

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Next chapter: Chapter 8

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Ok so yeah that wuz chapter 7, hmmm...abit more eventful and with more development than usual, if i should say for myself lol. ok so that's it thx for reading chaozers.

The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - Chapter 6

Lol and when i just said i'd post every fri-sat lol.

Well i just got back from a trip to malacca with my high-school friends, awesome trip, two words, so yeah, lookin' forward to the pics to be uploaded to fb soon lol. really nice trip, had a shit load of food to eat and fun to have.

but anyway, i wrote this chapter a week or two ago and stored it in my pc, and after proofreading i found so many typos lol, lucky i DID proofread it ffs. i quite like this chapter, personally, and i really look forward to continuing the story into its eventual climax and end lol.

ok so here's chapter 6 of SoBG, thank you for reading lolol:

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Previous chapter: chapter 5

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The Story of a Boy and a Girl(s) - chapter 6

Nothing special happened after the confession. Days passed by as it should, and soon enough, the relationship of the boy and the girl had returned to its original state, like how it always had been. They were basically, back to their everyday life of idly and casually messaging each other, talking about the mundanes of the mundanes.

A few times, the boy had tried to bring up the topic within his heart, but the girl would avoid the question, almost always most efficiently. There were times when he let too much slip and pushed forward abit too hastily, on caring only about getting a straight answer from the girl. He felt something from the girl, but the girl would always deny his questions with no clear answer.

The most he'd ever got from the girl was something about her possibly liking him, but she just wasn't ready to get into any such relationships.

And then, after some time, the boy decided that it was about time - about time that he realised the fact that he could never get the girl to warm up towards him. Whether the girl had or had not feelings for him, he decided that he should not know, he should never know. He could never know.

True, he and the girl shared a somewhat close relationship, something drifting between friendship and lovers, something closer than best buddies, but somewhat lacking than lovers.

But somehow, the boy felt like he would never reach the spot beside the girl, which he had tried to reach so much. He started to lose faith in himself, feeling that he will never be able to reach the girl's heart.

It was depressing. The way the boy thought about all these, and how he tried hard not to show it to the girl, but eventually failing to hide it from her. The whole process was tiresome to watch, and even more tiresome to bear. It was days and nights of darkness, only with slight rewards when he felt that at least the girl was happy with the current situation. She was oblivious of what dwelled deep within his heart, but sometimes he gets the feeling that she in actual fact knows most or part of what he was going through, but simply chose not to emphasise on those cumbersome matters.

Those were the dark days. Dark, dark days, for the boy.

Soon, it was time for the both of them to decide on their further education choices – of which course to take, which fields to venture into, which college to attend, and which future career to consider. The boy decided that he would be taking the A-Lvls in a college outiside of the state he resided, while the girl eventually ended up on choosing a local government-based college to attend.

This meant another separation for the two of them, like what happened back in primary school. But this time was slightly different.

This time, they were to be separated by a considerably huge distance, rendering meeting on a whim impossible, and of course other means of communication would be scarce given the vast distance.

The boy had long forseen such situations. He had been waiting helplessly for this day to come. Dreading its arrival, yet quietly looking on as it approaches, with eyes as empty and cold as the cloudy skies of a rainy night, as if already given up on any means of hope.

He was helpless. He felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to stop this separation, and this time it would be so much further, so much colder.

There was no helping it, yet again. He had given up hope trying to keep the relationship going, tired of always being the one-sided passionate fool, always pestering the girl on things she clearly wanted to avoid. Yet again, he felt like he should respect the girl's decision on not dwelling on things like these.

It was all painful and hard to bear, but it was about all that he could do. Try harder? He did not want to trouble the girl with these feelings anymore. Period.

And then it came – the last few days before leaving town.

Three days from now, the boy would be travelling to the city, in order to attend the course that he decided upon attending. He could probably return on weekends, if he was desperate, as the city was a mere four hours' drive from his hometown, but it would be a rather hurried and packed journey.

All in all, this would mark the first time of him leaving his hometown, going to some place other than home for more than a few 3 months, possibly for half to one year.

All in all, this would mean calling a place faraway from his sweet home “home”.

All in all, this meant leaving the girl behind, biding a temporary goodbye, quite a long temporary goodbye, and not knowing when he might meet her again. All hope was not lost, they could still communicate via various electronic means, but going out on dates would then be impossible.

Thus, he decided that he would ask the girl out one last time, before he went off to a new place, and possibly having a new start with a new life, leaving behind the bitter memories in his hometown. He would see the girl one last time, before setting himself straight of letting go of her.

And then – on the day of the date.

The date went surprisingly smoothly. Very much smoother than usual. The boy, with his heavy yet calm heart, would crack jokes like he used to, and play around with the girl without batting an eye or nerve, while the girl, feeling comfortable with the new cheerful air around the boy, gave good responses to his jokes.

Overall, they were enjoying their date alot more than usual.

It was a sight to behold - a boy and a girl laughing and playing around on a table in starbugz, clearly enjoying themselves on the cheerful air around them. They were even spotted by one of the girl’s friends, whom naturally thought them as lovers out on a date.

Why did it only happen now? The boy asked himself.

He couldn't give himself an answer.

And then the date came to an end. The girl was now sitting beside the boy in his car, well his father's car of course, while the boy drove her back to her house. Expecting a sudden intimacy flag to be raised here out of a sudden? Yeah, possibly.

Not for the boy.

It was odd. Strangely unexpected. He'd never drove the girl back to her house before in the past few miserable dates, but this time was different. He was driving the car with his cherished crush right beside him, listening silently to the CD he burned not long ago.

It was a pleasant atmosphere, probably a good time to ask her the golden question again.

But the boy didn't feel like it. What a fool he was – for throwing away such a golden opportunity, yet again. And the reason?

It was because he didn't want to spoil the pleasant air around them, not on his last date with the girl.

Not when things are going so well up ‘till then.

Not when he could finally make the girl feel comfortable beside him.

Not when he had finally decided that it would be his last date with the girl.

Not after he had went through all the trouble and effort, to let those feelings go.

He did not want their next encounter to be filled with awkwardness, when they could both walk away with such a nice memory of going out on a nice date before they went their separate ways.

And so, he did not make any moves on the girl. He did not mention anything about getting together. Nothing about that sensitive topic, all through the drive to the girl’s house.

And when they reached her house, silence fell as he put the car to a gradual halt.

A few moments, that is. The silence only lasted for a few seconds, and then the boy opened the door, went down to the backseat, and took out a bag.

Curious, the girl too went down from her side, and was met by the boy in front of the headlights of the car.

The bright lights shown on the bag, and revealed its contents - a pile of what looked like informational education pamphlets on further education. The boy apperently wanted the girl to have them, in case she ever changed her mind on studying in the local institution, as she did once mentioned that she was unsure if this was the best choice for her.

Ironic, that the boy, who had once gone so far as to leaving a surprise for her in her letterbox and writing her a splendid love song, would choose a bag of informational pamphlets as a farewell gift. The irony was simply overwhelming..

And then, with a surprisingly calm expression on his face, the boy reached out to the girl's hand. His hand felt warm and calm, not shaking a tiny bit from nerves or what-nots.

It was almost serene, the air around him at that time.

He passed the bag into here hand, which he held in his. And with a casual but almost sorrow smile, he spoke.

"Here, you can have a look at these for your further education and stuff.

Good luck in wherever you go and whatever you do.

Let's keep in touch.

Bye."

And with that, he returned to the driver's seat while waving a hand at the girl, without looking away from her. And all through the process of the boy walking backwards to the driver's seat while biding the girl farewell, and then finally looking away while getting on, and then waving one last time before driving off into the corner, and then disappearing into the night, the girl felt a sudden rush of emotions up her chest, a surge of desire for the boy that she had successfully kept at bay for so long.

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Next chapter: Chapter 7

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yeah well that's quite a nice part of the story for me, since it marks a small development and change of pace for the story lol. ok i think i should prob go to bed since i've gotta continue with my prac tomorrow, so 'till we next meet chaozerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..